Manic Blogging Quandary

I’m headed for another manic or mixed-state episode.  I can see it coming.  I’m running on zero sleep.  Cried twice this morning already.  If I open my mouth, a million words will come out and I won’t be able to stop it anymore.  I’ve become obsessive with blogging, and it’s a contributing factor.

My therapist wants me to take a ninety day break on all blogging until I stabilize.  This means a ninety day break on a one-week-old blog.  Damn.  I really cocked this up.

This is a quandary, because I’m finding this to be a meaningful experience.  It’s helping me to work out some of my questions and obstacles.

Isn’t there some way I can continue to blog without it being a trigger?  My better angels tell me no; not in the state that I’m in.

So, I am suspending Closer to the Middle for now because I’m getting further away from the middle than is healthy.  Hopefully I can continue reading all the many excellent bipolar blogs out there without cocking that up, too.

(like I can keep my mouth shut for ninety days…pfft)

[EDIT:  I’m pretty sure I’m going to keep blogging.]



11 thoughts on “Manic Blogging Quandary

  1. Bye. Hope to see you after if you go, although I may have to stop too for the same reason. It can really take over.
    I hope you get some sleep. It is so key for even the slightest functioning, which I’m sure you know. I don’t know what I would do without my ambien.
    Good luck.

    • My psychiatrist refuses to give me Ambien. His patients have had too many problems with it…including a third degree burn from sleep-cooking. But man, I’d take it in a heartbeat if I knew it would put me to sleep tonight. I use Restoril and Lunesta and neither are full-proof. I was on Antivert, Dramamine, and Restoril all at the same time last night…still wide awake. Most nights I do just fine, but every few weeks I get a night like this.

      • What about Klonopin?? Will your PDoc prescribe that? Its generic is Clonozepam. It helps me… BUT, you build tolerance.
        My PDoc says to alternate… Benedryl, Magnesium and Vitamin D, and my clonozapam. It usually works.

      • It works for me. I’ve tried it, but my doc is very conservative with habit-forming drugs. I’m wearing him down on the matter, though. I predict some sort of anti-anxiety out of my next visit.

  2. i think you should probably listen to your therapist. i try to restrain myself when i feel like binge blogging by reminding myself that i will probably end up embarrassing myself. i have started and stopped a lot of blogs for this reason. i always go back and forth between connecting my blog to my facebook profile.

    • It wouldn’t be half so bad if I could sleep. Bless your heart, you’re really down there right now. I don’t get the kind of depression you get. I get the pissed off kind of depression (more typical for guys). And really, I identify more with mania than depression in general. I’m told that my meds focus a little more on capping mania than elevating depression.

  3. That is what trips me out. I can get manic… but oh my, the depression is horrid and the mania is destructive. I was on lithium and depakote for a while… I felt like dying everyday. Not a good combo for me. The Lamictal I like… the Haldol scares me, it is mainly for schizophrenics.. lol… fun!

    • It’s a hard knock life

      for us

      (Just like in the Broadway Musical “Annie” except the part of it where we’re little girls in an orphanage. That never happened. Just the hard knocks part)

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