In Anita Simpson’s post Rage and Depression, she explores the notion that our lashing out at our loved ones is truly the anger that we bear for ourselves. She describes a “temper tamptram” she often throws with her husband in which she becomes enraged and irrational. I very much identify with this behavior.
This is how we wear out our partners. Sometimes it’s hard to control it. But it wears them out nonetheless. And it’s not just temper tamptrams, it’s the whole spectrum of bipolar behavior. Let’s face we can be hard to live with. So how do we say I’m sorry?
Sometimes my impulse is to say something a little childish like “I’m sooooo sorry for being bipolar!”. Because sometimes it really is the bipolar that is the source of our offensive or off putting behavior. So how do we apologize.
You could say something like “That was rough. I’m sorry you had to be a part of that”. And that’ s worth something.
But sometimes it’s simpler just say “I’m sorry.”
The people who love us and who get the worst of us understand better than anyone what “I’m sorry” means. And sometimes it means that if there’s something more that we can do to change this then we would do it.