According to the article, Loving Someone with Bipolar, as much as 50% of people with Bipolar Disorder refuse to accept their diagnosis or refuse to accept help.
I’m going through another questioning phase. I recently read the criteria for a bipolar diagnosis in the DSM IV. At the bottom it says,
Note: Manic-like episodes that are clearly caused by somatic antidepressant treatment (e.g., medication, electroconvulsive therapy, light therapy) should not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder.
I’ve always believed that my manic episodes were at least in part due to the Cymbalta I was taking, and I wish that they would have just weaned me of the Cymbalta before starting other drugs. Maybe I’m not so bad as long as I’m not taking an anti-depressant? I feel like I’ll just never know. The doctors are dead set on their diagnoses.
But every so often, I begin to doubt my diagnosis. I mean, how do they really know? Have they ever seen me in a manic episode? Have they ever seen me depressed? It’s all based on what my wife and I have said.
But you know? I’m never going to know one way or the other. I see no way of getting out of this, while keeping my marriage intact. I’ll never be able to experiment with this theory. She would leave me. And honey, if you’re reading this, I know you are agreeing with me. And you’re probably angry that I would even consider this at all. No worries. I’m sticking with it.
Perhaps my questioning is irrational. Perhaps the anti-depressants just exacerbated my disorder to the point at which it was just so blatantly obvious that I’d have to do something about it. And maybe it’s just so easy to question when I’m well. My meds are working.
I’m sticking to the program. But it’s still hard to accept.