17 Blogs: My Crazy Onion

onionhead2I have a good friend on Facebook from my high school days who is bipolar.  Half the time he’s unmedicated due to insurance issues because he changes jobs a lot, and the other half because of the uncomfortable side effects.  I mentioned that I was loving Jessica Jones on Netflix which is a comic superhero show.  He told me that was old news.  I told him that I had wanted to watch Gotham and Daredevil before starting Jessica.  He said “You call yourself bipolar?  I am simultaneously watching every comic book show on television.”  That’s a lot.  I don’t even know.  12?

My response was that I own 17 blogs.  His response was “now you’re just making stuff up.”

My wife saw the comment.  She knew I was prolific, but not 17 blogs prolific.  I tried to explain that I’m not writing them all at once.  I just have a lot of great ideas and I work on them when can, or I abandon them and keep them just in case I have a break through.

But how do you tell a sane person you own 17 blogs and it not sound crazy?  There might not be a way.  Honestly, I don’t think it’s too bad.  I cannot list them without revealing my true identity.  For all you know I’m a bipolar Batman blogging in a cave.  But here’s the gist

1.) Closer To the Middle (which you are reading right now)

2.) 10 chapters of a gritty, noir-ish novel about a drunk who gets entangled with a runaway teen in San Francisco

3.) A poetry blog

4.) The first part to a very incriminating memoir

5.) My writer home page

6.) A flash fiction blog

7.) 50k words of a novel about a guy who discovers that he might have angelic powers

8.) a personal journal

9.) A rather popular java programming blog

10.) The first 10 chapters of a book about the significance of Sin (major hyper-religious episode)

11.) The first chapter of a novel about an old church in an antebellum town which contains an ugly secret

12.) An 8-week study of The Beatitudes

13.) A blog dedicated to amateur artistic endeavors

14.) A complete fiction web serial about a guy with Aspergers who lives his life through his experience of smell

15.) A travel log of my family’s upcoming trip to Disney

16.) A work journal

17.) A spiritual blog dedicated to the notion of personal peace.

To me that’s not a lot, but I recognize the manic pattern here.  So many unfinished projects.  So many interesting ideas.  To someone who is not bipolar, this may seem crazy.  I suppose it is.  But I’m only actively writing five blogs right now.  The rest are on hold or defunct.

I write more when I’m manic.  This is my third post today.  Things are kind of slow at work, so I’m writing.  When I was in therapy, my therapist suggested that I quit writing because it might be a trigger.  I tried, but I ultimately failed.  I have to work things out on paper or out loud.  I interview myself in the car constantly when I’m manic.  I like to say that that’s how I develop my ideas and work through my problems, but it’s more than that.  It is narcissism.  I like the sound of my own voice.  I dream of being in a real interview on NPR.  I dream of books being published and made into movies.   I’ve caught myself walking and talking to myself on the street like a schizophrenic.  I’m not, but that’s a little too close to comfort.

So this blog stuff really has my wife worried.  It’s like she just pulled one more layer of my crazy onion.  It alarmed her greatly.  I wasn’t really trying to hide it from her, but I’ve never mentioned just how many blogs I own.  I don’t intend to do anything about it.  I’m a very multi-faceted man and I need ways of expressing it.  Father, husband, church music director, software engineer, classical singer, classical tuba player, on-and-off-again keyboard player in a country band, voice teacher, fiction writer, blogger, sketch artist, perpetual reader,  logophile, meditation junkie, alcoholic, cook, Christian, tv junkie, and garden-variety nut job.  It drives my wife nuts.  She lives a very simple, normal life and can’t understand why I have to be so complicated, or why I need 17 blogs.  All of this is normal to me.  It’s the way I like it.  I’m on a constant rotation of all of those facets from month-to-month, day-to-day, hour-to hour.


2 thoughts on “17 Blogs: My Crazy Onion

  1. When I started reading I was like “there’s no way you can keep up with 17 blogs” but as I further read your post it all started to make sense! I may not have 17 blogs but I’m kinda the same way with Ideas. When I have a specific idea, I like to write it out so that I don’t forget and when I get a chance I work on it. So sometimes I have a million projects I’m working on at once. I also have several journals where I keep separate projects as well, so I see exactly where you’re coming from! Great post!

    • See? I may not be as crazed as my wife thinks I am, BUT…I acknowledge that it’s not quite normal. Keeping up with them would be full-blown mania. When I go back and read some of that stuff, I see the depression, mania, and alcoholism all over it. It doesn’t mean it’s not good though. Mental illness can be a friend to creativity. I’ve deleted or hidden stuff that was clearly the product of hard-edge mania. Just plain nonsense. Thanks for reading!

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