closer profileMarried, two kids, software developer, choir director, tuba player, and writer.  I have Bipolar Disorder.  The docs say Bipolar I.

When I read all of these personal bipolar stories in books or online, I just don’t know where I fit in.  I’ve never attempted suicide.  I’ve never been hospitalized.  I didn’t run stark naked across a busy freeway.  I’ve never been stuck in bed too depressed to move.

Your bipolar could whip my bipolar’s ass any day of the week.

So I’m writing this blog because I know there have to be others like me who don’t totally identify with the typical bipolar experience.

I’ll post something new a few times a week.  Or if I’m a little manic, a few times a day.

It’s anonymous so that I can say what needs to be said about the sleazier parts of my illness.

If you want to know more about more story read


Memoirs of a Maniac

Daniel was a good and steady guy.  A faithful husband. A good father. He tucked his polo shirts into his dad jeans and got his hair cut for $11. A regular guy……….and a sane man. This is the story of his life-altering journey to the heights of bipolar mania.





9 thoughts on “About

  1. HAHA! My bipolar couldn’t kick yours ass. I have never been hospitalized or attempted suicide, though I should have been hospitalized a couple times… but hey, I made it through.
    My depression kicks my ass though. I have been in bed, in pajamas for 3 days now. I have showered though. I welcome mania any day. I miss that crazy fun…
    No running around naked for me either… a few other odd behaviors I shall not disclose. 🙂
    Welcome to the blogging world. Enjoy. It gets addicting and you meet some really cool peeps.

  2. Dude, your blog is killing my blog as far as replies go. I may have to go into a depressive episode! Seriously, like your style and good luck.

  3. I want to say that I’m greatly enjoying and relating to your writing more so than most on the topic of bipolar, especially in your ability to capture the feeling of being manic. And more specifically, the hypersexual aspect of it.

    I am Bipolar 2 and like a lot of people with bipolar 2, it is the depression that is the worst and it is what often becomes what is treated first. So it took years to finally realize I had something else going than just major depression. Because nobody goes to the doctor when they’re hypomanic.

    Hypomania feels freaking amazing! Its the easiest high you can find cause your own brain is the dealer. So even when being diagnosed for depression I did not recognize my own mania even when they asked questions alluding to bipolar. Because I never thought my actions or thoughts were pathological. I was just a girl who really, really liked sex with lots and lots of different people, who had a lot of energy and friends and was quite popular. I was awesome, it was my depression that was the problem so shut up and prescribe me an antidepressant is all I could think….

    Anywho, the reason I’m here is because I started dating a man who is also bipolar (Bipolar 1, he thinks he is The Messiah sometimes… I call Bipolar 1 the fun Bipolar) but he refuses to take medication. Instead he takes a bunch of vitamins and supplements, while I take 3 psychiatric medications everyday. Needless to say they arent working and he is manic right now as I type this.

    We were both hypomanic at the time we met and it was pure, perfect insanity. We were both sparkling creatures in rapture. We had sex constantly from morning till night and then morning again. We were the life of every party. It was wonderful… But what goes up must come down. And we did, almost simultaneously. My down is a writhing screaming horror. His is just to go flatline. No desire to do anything, least of all sex. We broke up for a couple of months because though I was in the throes of depression, I still wanted to have sex. So I dumped him. The irony is, while manic I have to beat the boys off with a stick, for some reason nobody wants to hook up with a crying emotional wreck.

    So we got back together in this weird asexual purgatory of a relationship, which is how things were until a couple of weeks ago. When his sex drive returned. And while we havent spoken in awhile, I know he’s out there sleeping with any woman that will have him. Which is every woman. He knows how to seduce. He loves to seduce. He’s a seduction vampire. As I was too.

    Though it hurts to know what he is doing, I’m not really upset. Because I’ve been there, I know what he is thinking and I know when he comes down, it will feel like it was someone else who did those things. And in a way it was. I cheated constantly on a man I was with for 10 years. But only while manic. I would feel absolutely no guilt and would actually blame him for my cheating. Then I would come down and be horrified by my behavior. I know he will too.

    So for right now, I’m just waiting it out. He’ll come down eventually and maybe this time I can talk him into meds. Maybe he’ll get so high and start telling people he is the new Messiah sent here by God to lead his people and finally get hospitalized. Either way, there is nothing I can do except wait and hope he doesn’t get an STD.

    Thank you for your writing and sorry I went so long… feeling a little manic myself 😉

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